


Disaster Strikes Like Lightning

by aphenglandstan



Series: USUK Fluff [15]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gods AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphenglandstan/pseuds/aphenglandstan
Summary: Nothing ever goes right for Arthur, the god of disaster, so why should any of his dates? Especially one with a god that he actually really likes...





	Disaster Strikes Like Lightning

It was never really a date for me until disaster struck. When it was with Francis- the god of love and lust- he shoved me down a mountain because I was ‘ruining his love life’. When it was with Gilbert- the god of swordsmen and warriors- it was an accidental beheading.

That’s why I didn’t want to go out with Alfred. Sure, he was a nice guy. Handsome, cheerful, definitely my type. But as the god of disaster, I knew I would mess everything up. That’s why every time he tried to pursue my hand, I declined. Or I ran. Or I hid so that he wouldn’t be able to find me. Or I pretended I was asleep. To put it simply, I was a mess.

After a few months of it- gods had been known to pursue others for much longer, but to be frank, I was getting tired of refusing him- I accepted. If I couldn’t stop him from trying to ask me out, I’d just show him what he was getting into.

We went down to the human world and I ran the possibilities in my head. Maybe a car crash, severe food poisoning, or a shooter. Maybe something different. Maybe all three. It didn’t matter. When he connected it all to me, he’d call me a monster and run off. They all did. After all, what’s a god of disaster to do but cause it?

“It’s a lot colder than I thought it’d be,” I muttered, my shoulders bare.

The first disaster. I wasn’t even dressed properly for the weather.

“Oh! You can have my jacket. I’m used to the chill by now, but it’ll help you warm up.” Alfred gave me the jacket and a grin.

I guess that wasn’t a disaster. It was simply my own idiocy. One of my disasters wouldn’t have a fix, especially not an easy one.

He helped my into the jacket and, although it was big on me, it was quite warm. I was tempted to snuggle into the soft lining, but I didn’t want to look like more of a dork than I already did. I felt semi-bad for taking his jacket, but he offered it. I felt slightly more bad about the fact that I was tempted to keep it. I didn’t really have any outerwear and it was comfortable.

“Watch your step there,” Alfred warned, grabbing my arm, “You almost walked right off the curb!”

Another possible disaster averted, and we were only down there for less than ten minutes. I squinted at Alfred.

“Thank you,” I muttered, reaching for Alfred’s hand. If he could somehow stop the disasters, I would at least make the most of a normal day. A normal date on a normal day. That sounded quite pleasant.

“So, I know a café around here. You in?” Alfred pointed to a place that was a few blocks ahead of us.

“That depends.” I saw his face fall. “Do they have English breakfast tea?” And his grin came back just as quickly.

“Yeah! I’m more of a coffee person, but I know that they have it. My bro likes tea. Have you met my brother? His name’s Matthew, but everyone calls him Mattie. Or Alfred. People think that he’s me a lot. And I really don’t know how. After all, he like never talks. Well, he talks sometimes, but he’s really quiet.” Alfred spoke quickly, almost in a rambling manner. And his voice was loud, very filled with energy.

It was one thing about him that I found quite cute.

“I think I’ve met Matthew before. He was hanging around Francis, so we happened to cross paths.”

“That’s cool. Mattie’s a pretty nice guy.” Alfred went quiet for a few seconds after he said that, which left the burden of conversation on me.

“Well, what do you like to do for fun?”

“Sports, chilling with friends, talking to you.” He shrugged. “Mostly just things like that.”

I nodded, feeling my cheeks go red.

“Hey, um, can I ask you a sorta weird question?” Alfred looked as embarrassed as he sounded.

“I have no problem with weird questions.” I gave him a half-smile, my stomach churning. Did I have something in my teeth? I hadn’t yet eaten, so it couldn’t be. Was my shoe untied? I looked down, still smug about my velcro solution. Did he want to kiss me? Impossible. Plus, that wouldn’t be a disaster on any level, unless I somehow fucked up kissing.

“Are you and Francis still…” He paused. “ya know, a thing?”

“Ew. No. We went out once and never since. We just happen to be semi-friends.”

He looked far too relieved to hear that. Some part of me was annoyed that he’d accuse me of cheating, but I knew that most gods didn’t exactly stay true to their partners.

The bells on the door of the café jingled as we stepped in and we seated ourselves at a table for two.

“So what do you think you’ll get?” Alfred asked, fidgeting with his watch.

“English breakfast tea.”

I noticed his eyes shifting as he fidgeted with the menu, face redder than usual. All signs of nervousness.

I reached for his hand, covering it with mine. “No need to be nervous. It’s just me.”

And for a moment, I had a feeling that it was the wrong thing to say. He would get angry or tell me how I was misinterpreting everything.

“Sorry, I’m just not used to dates.” He let out an embarrassed laugh.

_Cute!_ I thought.

“That’s quite alright. To be honest, I’ve been rather nervous that I’m going to mess this up somehow.” I smiled at him, hoping that that would help ease his nerves.

“I doubt that you could mess this up. You’re perfect.”

I wanted to tell him just how fucked up I was. Despite the fact that it would likely end the date, it didn’t feel right to just pretend that I wasn’t- literally- a disaster waiting to happen. But I lost my courage when a waitress walked over.

“Hey! What would you two like?” She looked kindly enough, but also quite exhausted.

“I’ll just have some English breakfast tea- with milk and sugar, please- and a blueberry muffin,” I answered quickly. I’d rehearsed what I wanted in my head so that I could say it correctly when I had to. I didn’t want a repeat of Date #36, where I accidentally ordered coffee.

“And I’ll have some coffee with creamer and sugar. And one of those croissant things with chocolate in the middle, please!” Alfred sounded cheerier than the waitress.

“We’ll have those out in a few,” the waitress said after writing everything down.

“Thank you!” Alfred gave her a smile as she walked away.

“So you looked like you were gonna say something before that…” His voice trailed off.

“No, I was just thinking,” I lied.

“About what?”

I took a deep breath. I had to do it. I had to tell him.

“Well, I have a confession to make,” I said, my voice cracking.

“What is it?”

“I’m the god of disaster. I’m not entirely sure what disaster is going to happen on this date, but I know that there will be one. I’m quite sorry. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into. You might as well just go before something happens to you.”

Alfred looked close to laughter, while I felt close to tears.

“Sweetheart, I’m the god of luck. Good fortune. Blessings. So I think we just cancel each other out. Like, together we’ll just have normal luck.”

“Oh my god,” I muttered.

“What?”

“So you can kiss me… and I won’t have to worry about some interruption or failure.”

“Yeah.”

I paused for a moment, just staring, and he stared back at me.

“Then- so help me, Alfred F. Jones- just kiss me.”

So he cupped my face in one of his hands, leaned over the table, and kissed me like there was no-one else in the whole café.

When he pulled away, I hummed, content. “Again, please.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And the rest of the date went like a dream. No disasters or anything else to be worried about. Alfred was a sweetheart and swept me off my feet.

“You know…” He smiled at me. “If you just wanna kiss me again, we could just do it here. It’s a lot more convenient.”

“But is it as romantic?” I asked, lying back on my bed.

“Well, it can be! We just gotta set the mood right.”

“That sounds like quite a bit of work.”

“Yeah.”

“Alfred, would you mind just kissing me?”

“Not at all, babe.”


End file.
